Miss Ds Blog

Archive for August, 2008

Yet another day feeling yuk with anxiety but I’m staying strong today and ignoring it.  Not giving it a minute to catch hold of me so I’m fighting.  None of this would have happened if I had been given proper support from my doctor after my dad died.  It’s learnt anxiousness I think.  What Charles Linden’s cd’s are all about.  Although I’ve listened to them umpteen times and read all the literature but still I worry.  Money worries mostly as I owe my mum some money and yet I can’t seem to earn enough to pay it off.  Just wish the anxiety would go!!!!!!!!!  I think I know what triggered it though – not sleeping enough and not telling my mum how much I was worrying.  I must learn to talk about things more rather than letting them fester.  What the hell am I telling you for anyway??  But just goes to prove to you that although I’m a Lifestyle Domme I still have some down days where I could do with cheering up.  I want to get back to being “Me” again so I can bitch and boss you all about.  Oh well, I’m going to get an ice cold glass of water and get back to doing some work.  If anyone is out there that can genuinely help me with some advertising, then email me and let me know as I could do with some help.  Also, marky is winning the competition so if you don’t want him to have the prize then pull your bloody fingers out and get some more members to the site.  Miss D x x x

PS:  I’m still waiting for a mobile to appear – it’s gone walkies so if you see it on your travels, kick it back in my direction please!  It’s a SE C702.  x x x

OMG why does anxiety always creep up on me when I least expect it.  When everything is going really well in my life, and I’m really enjoying myself, anxiety rears it’s ugly head and I start suffering again.  I think I should realise with the knee pain that I get just before and the fact that I become a bitch from hell too.  Wish I knew what the triggers were.  I know I’ve been worrying about money, I tend to spend more than what I have and it ends up with me owing my mum money at the end of the month (which I don’t want to do) but I can’t get the hang of when banks take card payments out.  I budget all the time.  I transfer say £40 to mums account, I pay for my item but then it takes a few days to come out.  In that time, I’ve spent on next months money and spent another £100.  It then all comes out and I’m stuffed.

I sit sometimes at 3am in the morning thinking about the meaning of life, have a panic attack and then try to go back to sleep, then literally drag myself out of bed to get into my office for 9am.

Then it’s a morning of girls moaning, or phone calls from people I don’t know.  Up to 7pm, when I can go and rest.  But I never can.  I’m up then till 12 midnight and then desperately try to get sleep.  It’s never ending.

Then I forget to take the vitaminm b6 which I take for depression for four days and then today I wake up shattered,  So tired, that Bix sits on my lap and I fall asleep on him.  Now I’m fighting this with drinking chamomile, taking Rescue Remedy and AD’s – I just wish I didn’t have to keep going through this.  I’ve never done a bad thing ever, but try and live my life as I see fit since my dad died, but it keeps coming back and biting me on the bum.  I’ve even fighting now to keep my eyes open all because I want to be able to sleep tonight otherwise I’d be in the land of nod (and shakes)…… Oh don’t get me started on that one.  I wish someone could stop the anxiety because it interfere’s so much with my life.  Spose I’ll just have to sit it out as usual and get more sleep.  Miss D x x x

Today and tomorrow is Clacton Air Show in Essex and as where I moved to is just live a little way from Clacton (nearer to St Osyth) I don’t expect to hear the planes but I just had 4 of the Red Arrows go over my back garden!!!!!!  OMG they were soooooooooooooooooooo low and sooooooooooooooooooooooo loud.  Phew. 

I’m actually having a lovely day today.  Still thinking of what I’m going to make peter do infront of his workmates, today or tomorrow though.  Plus just been on the phone to Miss Voluptua to sort out her website so it’s all go today!   

That’s it for now.  Miss D x x x

I’ve been waiting now nearly a week for my new phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It’s now driving me mad that I have no contact with anyone that I’m still having to borrow my mum’s phone for now.  A few of you will of heard from me in the last week – including peter, who is going to get a surprise task from me this week infront of his workmates.  I know he’s looking forward to it and as he had upset me bigtime he has to make it up to me.

marky is struggling at the moment unfortunately so we haven’t spoken much - doesn’t help with the credit on mum’s phone being next to nothing, and with me not being paid until the end of the month I can’t top it up just yet.

The WW site will be back up as soon as I get 10 mins to work on it, as will one of my Mistress friends sites – Miss Voluptua (who is a beautiful SSBBW) has asked me to work on a site for her so I’m looking forward to doing that.  I’ve got to go to see her at the weekend and find out what she’d like on it.  Anyway, that’s it from me today.  Miss D x x x

Hello all.  I’ve had to password protect some of the posts – these posts may reveal a little too much that would be deemed offensive posted in public so I have password protected them just for members of the site only.  If you want to read these posts you will need to join the site, then email me for the password.  If you’re already a member, email me so I can check first, then I’ll send you the password   Miss D x x x

Well I was reported to the server for putting up pics of the loser from the States – even though I had his permission?  Ah well, I’m going to put the page up somewhere else so don’t worry if you haven’t seen it – I’ll be hosting that page somewhere else so I don’t get in trouble again.  Bad girl, naughty girl!  (As always).

This loser from the States did initially want me to ruin him – and here’s the screenshot of his email to prove it.  LOL.  As he’s not replying now etc it’s time to have some fun.  Don’t you agree (don’t answer that, I don’t actually care what you think). Miss D x x x

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Had my bloody phone stolen this week so ordered another one via dialaphone………….. what a mistake.  I’ve had 2 emails off them to contact them and when I call them I get the automated system that doesn’t recognise my details.  B*stards.  I don’t think I’ll bother and go back and get a contract one from O2 again as they never gave me any hassle.  Before I forget – why aren’t you lazy lot of w*ankers getting me members for my site.  Just one joined yesterday - where’s the rest of them.  None of you will get any of my time if this is the way you act – lazy b*stards.  Get me members for my site and I’ll love you forever.  Miss D x x x

The mailing list option is now working on www.hotsugar.co.uk so get yourself over there losers and register for updates.  Miss D x x x

Right, I’ve got something for you.  I need some more members and so we’re going to do a members only competition.  The one member who has already signed up to the site (prior to today) and can refer the most new members to the site will get 2 pairs of my undies, a pair of my domination gloves, and a personally recorded domination mp3 for you to get your rocks off to (with your details and fetish of your choice – but NO children/animal/blood relative scenarios).  Get recommending this site now!  Competition ends midnight 31st August 2008.